WHAT’D I SAY?

“WHAT’D I SAY?” When a former counseling client says, “I’ll never forget what you said. It’s always stuck with me,” I hold my breath praying, “please God, let it be something I wouldn’t regret saying or at least let it be helpful.” The conversations between counselor and client make up an important piece of the…

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HOW AFFAIRS CAN HELP YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE BAD DECISIONS

Stories or movies containing scenes of people making mad, passionate love activate brain structures releasing chemicals that make us feel good. Movies can also expose us to scenes that scare us a bit and stimulate the release of cortisol that doesn’t overwhelm but stimulates us just enough to be excited. As a rule, if movies…

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PLANNED SPONTANEITY

Some of us are more relaxed about going with the flow when plans change or a partner comes up with an adventurous plan on the spur of the moment. Some find it difficult to go with the flow and need a plan. If the ends of a continuum stretch from spontaneous to planned, where do…

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OVER-SCHEDULED CHILDREN

While having my hair cut, my barber was talking with me about over-scheduled children. He wondered how parents keep up with all of the activities. Parents wonder the same thing. In my office parents question whether they should be taking kids to soccer practice, music lessons, robotics, church and Sunday school. If their child is…

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Grief and Special Days

Approaching your first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, birthday, anniversary and other emotional markers of time without your loved one can be accompanied by a feeling of dread, anxiety, and loneliness along with the to-be-expected grief and loss.   I think most of us understand why anybody would want to avoid facing the discomfort of loss.…

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Parable in Marital Conflict

Perpetual problems make up 69% of marital conflict according to some sources. Perpetual problems aren’t solved and couples manage to live with them as they wax and wane. Help finish this parable so that it has a moral truth or lesson. Here’s a parable in need of completion. Mary and Joseph (or it could be…

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LEARN HOW MEDITATE: TAKE CARE OF YOUR BRAIN by Judy Park, PsyD

Many of you who are reading this article may recall the old adage about being born with a finite number of brain cells. If brain cells were damaged it was believed that there was no regeneration of these cells. It was thought that most brain development occurred in infancy and early childhood and was clearly established…

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Neuroplasticity: Hope and Cautionary Tale

Neuroplasticity offers hope. It has to do with our brain’s ability to reorganize connections in response to learning. Cognitive behavior therapy can help us reduce stress to life’s most challenging circumstances. One of the things I get to do about every couple of months or so is to talk with a group of women surviving…

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DISTRESSING INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

Distressing intrusive thoughts about self harm may be the least known intrusive thoughts in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Most people think OCD pertains only to keeping things neat and orderly or compulsive hand washing. People don’t often share obsessive intrusive thoughts about self harm. This type of OCD doesn’t show up on popular media. One way they…

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SCRUPULOSITY OCD

SCRUPULOSITY: A form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in which people are overly concerned that something they do or say violates religious doctrine or morals. In fact their concerns or behaviors exceed or disregard religious law or standards. Imagine the overly scrupulous person who fasts worrying that swallowing his or her own saliva would break the…

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