Family counseling

PLANNED SPONTANEITY

Some of us are more relaxed about going with the flow when plans change or a partner comes up with an adventurous plan on the spur of the moment. Some find it difficult to go with the flow and need a plan. If the ends of a continuum stretch from spontaneous to planned, where do…

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Grief and Special Days

Approaching your first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, birthday, anniversary and other emotional markers of time without your loved one can be accompanied by a feeling of dread, anxiety, and loneliness along with the to-be-expected grief and loss.   I think most of us understand why anybody would want to avoid facing the discomfort of loss.…

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Parable in Marital Conflict

Perpetual problems make up 69% of marital conflict according to some sources. Perpetual problems aren’t solved and couples manage to live with them as they wax and wane. Help finish this parable so that it has a moral truth or lesson. Here’s a parable in need of completion. Mary and Joseph (or it could be…

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Will my kids become addicts or dropouts?

Kids involved in athletics, music, dance and scouts are less likely to become dropouts, get pregnant early, more likely to attend college, and less likely to become drug addicts. Parents fear negative outcomes and want to do all they can to see that their children have bright futures. Kids are signed up for athletics, music,…

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GOLDEN RULE and Parenting

Religions share variations on the Golden Rule. Having learned them, we often cite the Golden Rule when explaining to children why they should treat their siblings or playmates with kindness, share, and, in general be respectful of others. As an adult, at times, I find it challenging to reign in a smart remark to rudeness…

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Amputee on a Scooter

Waiting to pull into traffic I thought I saw a man with high tech prosthetic legs riding a motor scooter. When I was able to pull out, I felt compelled to speed up a bit and verify what I saw. Initially, I thought this looked risky. What happens when he puts a foot down at…

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CAN YOU POSSIBLY CHANGE YOUR MIND?

“I am who I am. I say what I think. You have to accept me for who I am. With me, what you see is what you get. I’m not afraid to call a spade a spade.” When you hear somebody present themselves in this manner, do you admire them for being forthright? Do you…

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Am I Ugly?

Am I ugly? Is a question most of us have asked ourselves at least once? A few years ago there was a YouTube explosion as teens around the world were filming themselves and asking the opinion of public viewers. Some say it was an attempt to get attention, others say it comes from low self-esteem,…

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Emotional Abandonment: When the Need for Connection is Unmet

The word “abandonment” often brings up the image of someone having been left behind physically. When we think of children, two of the most obvious forms of abandonment include a child being given up for adoption or a parent leaving or neglecting a child. There are other forms of abandonment that are subtle, but can…

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Respecting the Little Person

Often, parents tell me, “I’m the parent he/she must do what I say, just because “I said so.” They do not need to understand, know why, or ask any other questions. Dear parents, may I suggest something…. There are times children simply need to do what they’re told, but there are times, when providing an…

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