Parable in Marital Conflict

Perpetual problems make up 69% of marital conflict according to some sources. Perpetual problems aren’t solved and couples manage to live with them as they wax and wane.

Help finish this parable so that it has a moral truth or lesson.

Here’s a parable in need of completion. Mary and Joseph (or it could be Abraham and Sarah) have been married five years. At first they kept separate bank accounts and split their bills. Joseph tended to buy items such as golf clubs and spend money going out for lunch. Mary was more conservative in her spending in some areas choosing to make her lunch. Her extra spending was usually on items for decorating the house, such as furniture pieces. Initially, when Mary criticized Joseph about buying a new set of golf clubs without discussing the purchase, Joseph said he played golf with his business clients. He cross-criticized Mary saying Mary didn’t discuss her purchases for the house. Mary would explain that when she bought things, they were usually for both of them. Following an argument during their third year of marriage, they decided to pool their bank accounts, communicate better about finances, and take turns being in charge of writing checks and balancing the checkbook. However, they continued to have the same differences and began to use charge cards when they felt they found a bargain they couldn’t pass up.

If you were going to problem solve this, what would you suggest? The first step in problem solving is to define the problem. How would you define the problem? If you were not going to problem solve this, what would you recommend?

Post your answer on our Facebook page, or send it to me and I’ll post it without your identification. My email address if

David Barnhart, EdD

Licensed Counselor

Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor

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